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2012-02-13T13:03:00.000-08:00

If it was thou dear jasmine-cradled bird
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The simple garths and open crofts, as when

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2012-02-12T12:26:00.000-08:00

Thou shalt not die: no asps of Egypt creep
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This English woodland than thy keen despair,

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2012-02-11T20:52:00.000-08:00

Which Grecian meadows know not, many a rose,
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That stays to vex the moon more fair than all

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2012-02-11T10:11:00.000-08:00

Of morning on the Apennines.
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To kneel again at Fiesole!

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2012-02-09T16:34:00.000-08:00

that still smelled of tobacco
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The seventh Crystal, and the Stair of Gold.

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2012-02-06T21:03:00.000-08:00

And starts the moor-hen from the sedgy rill,
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Will wake and think 't is very Thessaly,

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2012-02-06T15:16:00.000-08:00

In a high litter red as blood or sin the Pope is borne
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That I have lost all hope and heart to sing,

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2012-02-05T13:39:00.000-08:00

The only God-anointed King,
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Mix with those mighty limbs and make that giant breast my lair!

If you have no wife

2012-02-05T13:24:00.000-08:00

Even to kiss her feet I am not bold,
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In the last year of thy beleaguerment;

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2012-02-05T10:59:00.000-08:00

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2012-01-11T04:52:00.000-08:00

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2011-12-30T22:34:00.000-08:00

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2011-11-27T00:32:00.000-08:00

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2011-11-25T10:18:00.000-08:00

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2011-11-16T04:58:00.000-08:00

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2011-11-14T20:09:00.000-08:00

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2011-11-13T22:14:00.000-08:00

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2011-11-09T14:30:00.000-08:00

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2011-08-13T00:31:00.000-07:00

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The House of the Devil (2009)

2011-01-12T23:45:00.000-08:00

There's nothing to fear about babysitting in the middle of nowhere during a lunar eclipse! That's what Samantha thought until that night. Sometimes when you venture out into the unknown, things aren't what they seem. The creaks in the attic. The whispers from the basement. There's nothing to fear in THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL! HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!

PLOT

Samantha is a small town college girl who just wants her own apartment since her dorm roommate is a nympho and always trashing half the room. Being that Samantha needs money to make the payment on the perfect apartment that she has just found, she seeks out in search of a job to make some quick cash. Luckily (or unluckily depending on how you look at it), she discovers a babysitter flier posted outside her dorm building. Samantha calls the number and talks with Mr. Ullman, who wants her to babysit for him that night. Since the guy lives out in the middle of nowhere, Samantha's best friend Megan is worried and tries to talk her out of it. That night, Megan drives Samantha to a big house in the countryside. It turns out though that Mr. Ullman and his wife don't have a child, but want Samantha to watch Mrs. Ullman's mother, who is very old. He even offers to double the money. After Megan and the Ullmans leave, Samantha hangs out around the house. She watches television, orders pizza, shoots pool, and even dances around the house listening to music. Things begin to start getting weird when she tries to call Megan's house phone and nobody answers every time she calls. Then there are the whispers coming from the basement and footsteps up in the attic. And a lunar eclipse that is coming at midnight. Something is lurking in the darkness and watching Samantha closely. Something not Human. Something evil. Something from HELL!

REVIEW

The babysitter story has always been a popular scary story. We've had many stories dealing with a babysitter in the horror genre. The story that mostly everyone knows is where the babysitter receives harassing and creepy phone calls, traces them back, and discovers the shocking truth that the stalker is in the house with her. WHEN A STRANGER CALLS is best known on film as the babysitter story. Truthfully, I'm not a big fan of that movie. Sure, the first ten minutes are creepy, but then there is the rest where we follow the fucking "stalker" around the remainder of the film and got to know him, therefore ruining the mystery that we had at the beginning. John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN is probably the best form of babysitter in peril on film. It was suspenseful, we were never given too much information about the villain, the protagonist was sympathetic, and of course the atmosphere and music made the film chilling. The babysitter story also made its way to book form with R.L. Stine's (author of the GOOSEBUMPS & FEAR STREET series) 1989 teen horror novel THE BABYSITTER, which spawned three sequels in the early '90s. I definitely recommend the first book, it's the best of that series.

    While not babysitter related, the creepy caller being nearby scenario was also done in BLACK CHRISTMAS (both versions) and of course in the SCREAM films. In 2008, an independent horror film titled BABYSITTER WANTED was released starring Sarah Thompson (CRUEL INTENTIONS 2 & tv's ANGEL) and Bill Moseley (THE DEVIL'S REJECTS). That film brought back the babysitter horror story and gave it a Satanic twist. A year later, independent filmmaker and old school horror fan Ti West released a similar horror film called THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL. I'm not sure if West saw or was highly inspired by BABYSITTER WANTED, but both films use the Satanic scenario in two very different ways. While BABYSITTER WANTED is a pretty fast paced horror film, THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL does a nod towards the '70s/'80s horror films by being a slow burning build up of suspense to a creepy and crazy climax.

The thing that I love about THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL the most aside from creeping me out in a way that many modern horror films fail to do is that the film looks like it was made in the '80s. I'm not just talking a modern film with an '80s homage, but it looks and feels like an '80s horror film. It was like stepping back in time while watching this film. There's been many modern horror films that claim to be old school horror, yet still feel modern. This movie however impressed me at how it feels like it was taken off of a VHS tape from the '80s and just now got put out on DVD.   Everything about this movie screams the 1980s. The clothes, the hair styles, the music, the phones, and even the music players. Ti West definitely pulled off the retro feel.

The screenplay by Ti West is pretty damn good and the story has a great build up to the horror. I love that West kept the story and characters simple without over explaining anything like most modern horror movies love to do. For the first time in a very long while we get a story and interesting characters that moves the film forward instead of lots of gore and female nudity. While I love gore and T & A just as much as the next horror fan, it's still nice to see a film that concentrates on story, characters, and build up above all else.

The protagonist Samantha is likeable and also very sexy. I just have a lust for '80s girls. All Samantha wants is to move out of that dorm room. Who would want to stay in a room with a girl who likes to fuck a lot anyway? Wait a second, where's this college campus again (hehehehe)? Oh yeah, sorry. I was fantasizing there for a second but I'm back. Samantha's best friend Megan is just trying to be a good friend. She's concerned about her friend and honestly, who could blame her? You can tell something weird is going on by how Mr. Ullman is acting. Megan is like West's way of placing the audience inside the movie. We know shit ain't right and don't want to see this sweet young woman get killed. Of course, we also don't have a... Oh no, I ain't spoiling it. You'll just have to watch and see.   Mr. Ullman is all kinds of creepy. Personally, I thought Mrs. Ullman was even creepier. She kinda reminded me a bit of Ms. Baylock from THE OMEN except without looking like an evil Mary Poppins.   All in all, the characters were well written and well performed.

THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL slowly gets darker and darker as the film moves along. I could actually catch myself getting low in my seat while watching this film towards the finale. I can't recall doing that since I was a little kid. The suspense in this film was so well structured that when the movie does kick up, it makes you jolt. Not a stupid jump scare, but actually a real general scare. You're so involved with what's happening that it really gets to you when things start speeding up. The atmosphere was fantastic and that house is all sorts of errie.

The film does have a fair share of gore, but it's like a dessert after a really delicious dinner. THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL delivers story, suspense, and characters before the red stuff. I really was digging the gore in the last act. We get a head shot to pieces, a slit throat, blood drinking, and so on. It's no gore-fest, but an appropriate amount for a film like this.

I do have two issues with the film though. While I loved the slow burning build up of suspense that lead up to the finale, there were moments that were a tad too slow. Like, there's a moment where Samantha is just wandering around the house. The other is the very ending. Not the finale, but the very last few seconds before the end credits. It was just a cliche' final "twist". Other than that, this film is a great horror film.

The direction by Ti West was pretty damn good except for that sequence that moved a tad bit too slowly. I've enjoyed the guy's work as a writer/director except for CABIN FEVER 2: SPRING FEVER. I did however really enjoy West's other horror film THE ROOST about bats that turn people into zombies after biting them. Pretty good throw back to the old black and white monster movies. THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL is definitely Ti West's best movie this far. I'm excited to see THE INNKEEPERS, which is said to be his next project. I also loved the style of editing with the credits that felt very '70s/'80s. I could definitely tell that West was heavily inspired by ROSEMARY'S BABY and THE OMEN. Great stuff!

The acting was pretty solid. Jocelin Donahue was great as Samantha, giving us a final girl that we truly care about. And plus, she's a hottie too! Greta Gerwig cracked me up as Samantha's best friend Megan. She was sarcastic and very funny. Definitely the kinda girl I would date. Tom Noonan was creepy as Mr. Ullman. He looked like the old guy who lives in the dark mansion in those old horror classics that's up to no good. Noonan is probably best known by horror fans as the original Tooth Fairy in MANHUNTER or as Frankenstein in the '80s classic THE MONSTER SQUAD. Mary Woronov is probably the creepiest character as Mrs. Ullman. She had Satan's guardian written all over her. AJ Bowen was really good as Victor, the cemetary caretaker. And Dee Wallace was good in her short cameo role as The Landlady. Dee Wallace is best known for playing the mother in ET, the main character in THE HOWLING, and Mrs. Strode in Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN '07. All in all, great cast!

Before I conclude, I must mention the music. I loved the use of the '80s music. We get "One Thing Lead To Another" by The Fixx and "The Breakup Song" by The Greg Kihn Band. The horror music was well used too and sounded creepy as fuck! Once that music came up, this movie really got under my skin.

Overall, THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL is a great horror movie and a great throwback to the '70s and '80s horror realm. I wish we would get more films like this in the future. I know that not everyone will get into this movie because of its slow burning pace, but if you love to be creeped out then definitely watch this film. I recommend watching this alone at night with all of the lights off. Then, it may have an entirely new meaning. THE HOUSE OF THE DEVIL is one HELL of a great scare-a-thon!

Looks like babysitting is a Hell of a job! Wait, you're not the babysitter? Oh, the knife? I'm not going to hurt ya. I'm just going to slide the sharp part across your throat and drain all of the blood out. As you can see boys and girls, the lunar eclipse allows for new demons to be born! Until the next screaming, have a nice fright! HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!

RATING

3.5/4 STABS

New Movie Blog: FRIDAY-NIGHT-MOVIES

2011-01-07T13:29:00.000-08:00

This is just an update to let you guys know about the new movie blog that I've created titled FRIDAY-NIGHT-MOVIES. I decided that I want to write more than just horror/thriller reviews. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely love the genre, but want to expand since there's a lot of other movie genres that I love too. FRIDAY-NIGHT-MOVIES will have all of the reviews that I write for action, science fiction/fantasy, comic book adaptations, drama, and comedy. I'll still continue to write my horror/thriller genre stuff here at DISTURBING ENTERTAINMENT. I just thought that I would let all of my readers know what's going on and to make sure to become a fan of my other movie blog too so you can see how I view other genres outside of horror.

This is something that I've kinda wanted to do for awhile now. So, please join me at FRIDAY-NIGHT-MOVIES to share the magic of the fascinating world of cinema. The blog still needs a lot of work, but I'm hoping to make it an awesome source for sharing my view of movies as entertainment for you. Also, if you could please spread the word on both FRIDAY-NIGHT-MOVIES and the ghoulish fun that we have here at DISTURBING ENTERTAINMENT, I would greatly appreciate it and in return will help promote your work. I want to personally thank all of you who've continued to support me and send me feedback. If I have introduced you to a movie or entertained you with my love of movies then that is enough for me.

- Mike Huntley aka SIKO MIKE

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Terror Train (1980)

2011-01-01T20:20:00.000-08:00

All aboard!!! Step on up, don't be shy! Come aboard the Terror Train. Nothing says New Fear's Evil like a masked killer aboard a costume party taken place on a train. Scarring the scream queen herself, Jamie Lee Curtis! It's a New Year ah rising for this Greek party, but who will live to tell about it? Mystery and suspense lurk around every corner of this train. Oh joy! A magician! I wonder if he can show me how to cut a woman into pieces and put her back together again inside out.

PLOT

It's New Year's Eve and a fraternity decides to play a prank on their newest pledge Kenny Hampson. The frat's leader Doc insists that Kenny enter the house where Alana is waiting in an upstairs bedroom to have sex with him. Alana hides behind the bed and tells Kenny to come closer. Kenny undresses down to his underwear and pulls back the covers to find a corpse laying there. Kenny freaks out and gets tangled all up in the bed's curtains, screaming his head off, as Doc and his frat brothers burst in laughing at him.

Three years have passed and it's New Year's Eve again. The Greek system has planned on one last big college party before everyone graduates. This time, the party is on an overnight train and it is a costume bash. Everyone is having a blast. That is until the party goers begin to get killed off one by one by a masked killer. This killer keeps changing disguises where nobody knows who he/she is. Could it be Kenny back for bloody revenge? Could it be that mysterious magician that has a nack for sword play and disappearing acts? Or, could some escaped mental patient have just snuck on the train?

REVIEW

Train rides can be fun. I remember when my family and I took a train to Florida one time. It was so relaxing and the view is great along the way. But, there's also that dark side to trains just like anything else. There's butchers who like to slaughter and hang people upside down with hooks so that monsters can eat them underneath the streets of New York City. There's some trains that harvest peoples' organs without permission over in Europe. There's some weirdo that tries to grope you while eating salad. There's that daring IMF agent that likes to stand on the roof and blow up helicopters with chewing gum. And who can forget that time when Death caused a subway train to crash?

TERROR TRAIN is one of those slasher flicks that came out in the early '80s to cash in on the slasher craze that took off after the massive success of HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE 13TH. I personally like to refer to these early '80s as the Jamie Lee Curtis era of horror. After HALLOWEEN was a success in 1978, lead actress Jamie Lee Curtis became the horror genre's scream queen. A lot of her fame in the genre also was the result of her mother, Janet Leigh, playing in Alfred Hitchcock's classic PSYCHO in that infamous shower scene. Curtis quickly became a popular final girl in the horror community with HALLOWEEN II, John Carpenter's THE FOG which her mother also starred in, PROM NIGHT, and TERROR TRAIN.

Like most of the slasher films of the '80s, TERROR TRAIN takes place on an international holiday, New Year's Eve. While most slasher films go right for the gore and over the top kills, TERROR TRAIN goes for the atmosphere and mystery. The screenplay written by T.Y. Drake is okay. It's your typical slasher with one dimensional characters that get killed. Some of the characters are definitely more interesting than the others. The main characters that really stick out are the film's protagonist Alana, the asshole frat guy Doc, the Conductor, the Magician, and the killer. Some of the dialogue is kinda dry though, especially by the more one dimensional victims. The film does drag a bit here and there, but not too much.

Where TERROR TRAIN truly shines is in its suspense, music, and setting. The killer's identity is obvious in the first ten minutes as well as his motivation. This is not a slasher where the big mystery is who is behind this, but where this person is because they keep changing costumes throughout the whole movie. They could be anywhere on the train. I loved that the victims are stuck on a train with no escape from this psycho. That right there makes the film truly creepy as well as not knowing where the killer is lurking.

The killer's costumes are pretty creepy. My favorite is when the killer is wearing the Groucho mask. This guy made Groucho look so fucking creepy! The CREATURE FROM THE BLACK LAGOON outfit was cool as well. There's one costume though that shocked the hell out of me because it was right in front of my face the entire time and yet I didn't notice till the end.

The direction by Roger Spottiswoode was really good. I absolutely loved the way the movie was shot and lit. It reminded me a lot of the original FRIDAY THE 13TH, especially when we see a shadow of the killer holding an axe. There's a really freaky scene where the killer is disguised as one of the guy's girlfriend and has his finger nails painted and wearing a black dress. I find guys who dress up like women and kill people very creepy. Kinda reminded me of when Norman dressed like his mother in PSYCHO and that one episode of TALES FROM THE CRYPT where the guy dressed up as his ex wife.

There wasn't a whole lot of gore, but I like the deaths nonetheless. We get a stabbing with a sword quite a few times, a decapitation with an obviously fake head, a slit throat, a severed hand, a stabbing, and some guy gets his face ran through a bathroom mirror.

The acting was decent. Jamie Lee Curtis was really good as Alana. This is definitely Curtis' best horror film aside from HALLOWEEN and HALLOWEEN II. Hart Bochner was great at playing an asshole as usual as Doc. I just couldn't wait to see this guy bite it. Bochner is great at playing douchebags in such films as BATMAN: MASK OF THE PHANTASM, DIE HARD, and URBAN LEGENDS: FINAL CUT. David Copperfield was great as the Magician. I have to say that this is some of the best and most convincing magician work that I've ever seen. Ben Johnson was really likeable as the Conductor. Sandee Currie was pretty sexy as Alana's best friend Mitchy. And Derek McKinnon was creepy as hell as the movie's killer, Kenny Hampson. Holy shit, this guy was like if little Stuart Minkus grew up to be Jeffrey Dahmer!

Overall, TERROR TRAIN is a pretty good early '80s slasher film. I definitely recommend checking this one out. Although, you may not look at magicians, magician's assistants, costume parties, The Creature From The Black Lagoon, or Groucho the same way again! Happy New Year everyone!

Want to see a magic trick? I'm going to make this pencil disappear. BAM! It's gone. HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!

RATING

3/4 STABS

Silent Night, Deadly Night / Silent Night, Deadly Night Part 2 (1984/1987)

2010-12-22T18:43:00.000-08:00

Welcome back kiddies! Did you have a good Hallowscream and Thankskilling? Good! Since Christmas is around the corner, I figured that we would talk about a little story that caused an army of angry parents to protest back in the winter of 1984. You're in luck, I'm feeling extra generous this year. After all, Christmas is the time for giving. So, I'm giving you TWO regrues for the slice of one! This year, Santa has some bones to pick with those who've been naughty all year, especially on Garbage Day!!!! HEHEHEHEHAHAHA!!!

PLOT

On Christmas Eve, five year old Billy Chapman goes with his parents and baby brother Ricky to visit his grandfather, who is in a mental hospital. Old gramps apparently is catatonic, meaning he hasn't moved and spoken a word in quite a long time. Billy's parents step out of the room to talk with a doctor, while Billy stays with grandpa. Once Billy's parents leave the room however, the old man frightens little Billy by telling him that Christmas Eve is the scariest night of the year and that Santa Claus punishes those who've been naughty all year. That night on the way home, Billy's parents stop their car to help a man dressed in a Santa suit who's vehicle has apparently died. It turns out that the man had robbed a store earlier that night and pulls a gun out of his pocket. The man shoots Mr. Chapman in the head. Billy gets out of the car and hides behind some bushes. He witnesses the man drag his mother out of the car, rape her in the middle of the road, and slit her throat.

Three years have passed and Billy and his brother Ricky are both in an orphanage ran by the sadistic Mother Superior. Sister Margaret can see that Billy needs professional help, but Mother Superior believes in strict punishment. Mother Superior's plans to help poor Billy consists of forcing him to sit on Santa's lap even though he is terrified, tying his arms and legs to his bed when he has nightmares of his parents being killed, and whipping him with a belt.

Ten years have passed and now eighteen year old Billy has a job at a toy store. Everything is going great at first. His fellow co-workers love having him around. And then the holidays come around, which then Billy begins to fall back into paranoia and fear. Things get worse when the store Santa breaks his ankle and Billy's boss, Mr. Simms, makes Billy be Santa Claus unaware of Billy's phobia with Christmas. After the store closes on Christmas Eve, Billy witnesses one of his co-workers trying to rape the cashier girl Pam in the back room. This forces Billy's mind to snap and he goes on a killing rampage that makes the season of giving turn into the season of killing.

REVIEW

In 1978 and 1980, HALLOWEEN and FRIDAY THE 13TH changed the genre of horror. The '80s brought on the slasher trend. No holiday was safe from those masked maniacs that love to slice and dice horny teenagers in creative ways. We had PROM NIGHT, TERROR TRAIN, MY BLOODY VALENTINE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME, NEW YEAR'S EVIL, APRIL FOOL'S DAY, and countless others. Since Halloween was used for one of these films, why not Christmas? It is one of the biggest holidays. Wouldn't it be cool to see some nutjob kill horny teens while dressed as Santa Claus? There was already a slasher flick involving Christmas titled BLACK CHRISTMAS about a psycho that sneaks into the attic of a sorority house during Christmas break and begins to kill the sorority sisters one by one. But, we want to see a film where the big jolly guy in red gets to mess some people up! Well, that wish was granted not once but twice. CHRISTMAS EVIL came along about a man who went psycho and wore a Santa Claus suit, but kinda went under the radar.

In 1984, a little slasher flick titled SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT was released by Tri Star to cash in on the whole slasher trend with a Christmas approach. Unfortunately, whoever made the advertisements for the film decided that it would be great to make it look as if Santa was the killer instead of a traumatized young man. This caused so much controversy since apparently little kids saw the television and newspaper ads and became scared of jolly ol' St. Nick. Parents from all over protested the hell out of this little film as if it were the Anti-Christ of cinema. Seriously? I mean, I get the whole point with how the advertisements went about this film the wrong way, but all of this shit over a 90 minute slasher film? Where were these parents when CHRISTMAS EVIL or SANTA'S SLAY came out? Hell, in SANTA'S SLAY, Santa is actually the killer and is written to be the son of the Devil! Why this film out of all of the stuff that has been released to a movie theater or on video? I hope someone comes out with a killer Easter Bunny movie just to piss these protesters off even more. SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT was pulled from theaters not long after its release and all of the ads were taken down too. The film got the recognition that it truly deserved on VHS and now on DVD.

There's no denying that the controversy made this film even popular and made it the cult classic it is today. Now, it is a Christmas must see for any horror fan.

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT has a really good story of child trauma and how it really can affect someone if it isn't dealt with rightfully. Billy's problem keeps getting worse because everyone refuses to get him some help. He needs a way to deal with what happened to him in his past without it damaging his mind. Since he is under the sadistic care of Mother Superior, his chances of living a normal life without the mirror of rape and murder are slimmer than ever. The true villain of the movie is Mother Superior, not Billy. If Mother Superior had actually given a rat's ass about this kid in the first place by providing him with mental care, he wouldn't have snapped and began killing people. That's what these protesting parents don't get about the film. They all jumped to conclusions and refused to look at the movie closely. This film in no way, shape, or form is about Santa directly or him being a murderer. Parents and critics just saw the ads and forced themselves to not really see the story for what it really was representing. General audiences will probably never understand why we love horror movies. They treat these films as "garbage" or "trash" without really allowing themselves to experience their humanity. Slasher movies are like seeing a magician do a trick. We all are stunned and find ourselves wondering how it was done. Same goes for seeing a character get killed in a horror movie. We are amazed at how real it looks and are curious how the special FX was done to make the killing look so real to us. Also, we like to be scared every now and then.

The biggest thing I enjoyed about SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT is that it was a character piece, which doesn't usually occur in most slasher films. We see this character gradually slip into madness. Most movies like this just have some wackjob in a mask killing teens. The killer is human and expresses real emotion. This film is not trying to have us root for the killer, but feel sorry for him and understand his madness.

The kills in SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT are actually pretty cool. We get a guy getting choked to death with Christmas lights, a girl being stabbed with a box cutter, a guy gets a hammer to the head, a woman shot with a bow and arrow, a topless Linnea Quigley being impaled on deer antlers, a guy being thrown through a window and the glass stuck in him, and a sledder being decapitated with an axe.

The film definitely has a decent amount of female nudity. Linnea Quigley, ahhh!! What? Eighties girls are fucking hot!

In case you all are wondering, yes, Billy does make it back to the orphanage for one last good kill: MOTHER SUPERIOR!

It's too bad that he didn't get the chance to off that bitch. This lady shouldn't be a nun! She should be babysitting Damian Thorn. Oh well, at least she got it in that sequel thingy.

I do however have a few issues with the film. The main issue isn't exactly for the film itself, but for the re-released DVD that Anchor Bay released a few years back. There's a few spots during the film where it turns really dark and then turns normal lighting/color again. The second is that Mother Superior didn't get killed when she was the true villain of the movie along with that psycho who murdered Billy's parents at the beginning of the movie.

The story by Paul Caimi and screenplay written by Michael Hickey was pretty good.

Charles E. Sellier, Jr. did a fine job at directing the movie. It moved at a steady pace and really built up the character of Billy very well.

The acting was fantastic. Both Jonathan Best (Billy- 5 yrs old) and Danny Wagner (Billy- 8 yrs old) were really great as young Billy Chapman. Robert Brian Wilson was fantastic as eighteen year old Billy. This guy definitely convinced me that he had gone nuts. Lilyan Chauvin was a totally evil bitch as Mother Superior. I wanted this character to die from the beginning! Gilmer McCormick was very good as Sister Margaret, who felt sorry for Billy and tried to help him. Linnea Quigley showed her boobs as Denise and was very sexy. Britt Leach cracked me up as Billy's boss, Mr. Simms. This guy was just hilarious when he got drunk and had the best lines of dialogue.

" Christmas is over! Time to get shitfaced!!!"

The cast was great as a whole.

Overall, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT is a must watch for every horror fan around the holidays. You better watch out though because Santa is making a list and checking it twice and he'll find out who's naughty or nice.

RATING

3/4 STABS

PLOT

Ricky Caldwell is locked up in some mental institution and tells his psychiatrist, Dr. Henry Bloom, about what happened to his brother Billy and about why he is locked up. After forcing us to watch the entire first movie again for 45 minutes and seeing Ricky go trigger happy on GARBAGE DAY, Ricky finally kills Dr. Bloom and escapes the mental ward. He returns to Mother Superior's 666 numbered apartment dressed in a Santa outfit to finish where Billy left off.

REVIEW

  In 1984, a little slasher movie called SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT was protested to death by outraged critics and parents.   SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT was immediately removed from theaters before it could really gain anything at the box office. However because of all of the outrage, slasher fans were curious about seeing the film. So much so that SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT got a lot of its money back and gained a major cult status on home video. Back then and even today, a movie that is a hit is usually guaranteed a sequel or franchise. While SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT is a damn good slasher flick, I personally didn't think it needed a sequel. I mean, the killer got shot to shit at the end and died before he could kill that sadistic bitch of a nun named Mother Superior. How the fuck could there be a sequel to that? Well, people probably said the same exact thing when FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 came out in 1981 even though the killer was clearly decapitated at the end of the first movie.

      However, it was hinted at the very end of SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT that the killer's younger brother Ricky may continue where Billy left off just by his facial expression and his use of the word "naughty" before the ending credits.

The funny part is that SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 did not start as a sequel. Some guy named Lee Harry was hired to re-edit the original SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT and get it ready for a re-release, but to record extra footage of an adult Ricky kinda telling the story. Lee Harry and his co-writer Joseph H. Earle began to write the script for the new footage and somehow came up with the idea to turn this re-release into both a re-release and a sequel combined. They wrote like forty-five pages of a story about Ricky and then padded the movie out to ninety minutes with forty minutes of stock footage from the original film that was used as flashbacks.   I have to say that this was a pretty interesting idea. Terrible, but interesting nonetheless.

The thing that makes SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 watchable is the overacting of Eric Freeman as Ricky. This guy is so hilariously bad that I couldn't take my eyes off of him. From him widening his eyebrows to his hilarious evil laugh to his terribly yet hilarious dialogue. What's not to enjoy?   The scene that everyone knows is the infamous scene where Ricky shoots a guy taking out his trash and shouts "GARBAGE DAY!". You can see this clip just about anywhere on the internet and it is absolutely golden!

For Christmas Eve, it sure looks like one hot summer day outside. It looks more like I was watching THE ADVENTURES OF PETE & PETE with neighbors being killed by some wackjob bafoon carrying a gun than a SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT sequel. I was just waiting for Artie to show up and show off his fake muscles before being shot in the face on GARBAGE DAY!

I also find it funny that the actor playing Ricky as a teenager actually looks older than Eric Freeman. Dr. Bloom cracked me up when he just wrote "RED CAR!" in his notes while Ricky was describing the time he ran some rapist over with a red car because it reminded him of when his mother was raped in the first movie. Ricky also used to have a girlfriend named Jennifer. Nothing sparks off a romance like a girl knocking you off your motorcycle and almost killing you only to smile and giggle. The perfect date is taking your boyfriend who has post trauma of Christmas to a movie theater that shows a clip of the man who murdered his parents rob a convenient store that was obviously taken right from the first movie!

Speaking of the first movie, how the fuck does Ricky remember a lot of this? He was just an infant when his parents were killed and Billy went through all of the shit in the first film. The only thing Ricky would know is that his parents are dead, Billy was abused by Mother Superior, his brother went nuts, and he did see Billy try to kill Mother Superior. THAT'S ALL! The only one who could tell us the rest was Billy and he's dead now!

SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 really lacks in the continuity department. You know they got bad continuity in a sequel when the character's last name changes in the sequel. Ricky Chapman to Ricky Caldwell? That would be like if they changed Jason Voorhees to Jason Cunningham in one of the FRIDAY THE 13TH sequels.

The kills in this movie are absolutely funny. A dude gets stabbed with an umbrella, Ricky makes a cop shoot himself in the head, there's the whole GARBAGE DAY! clip, and a dude gets jumper cables shoved in his mouth causing his eyes to explode.   I also love it after Ricky kills Jennifer's old boyfriend and turns and says "PUNISH!" that she actually does a big GULP and says "UGH OH!" before trying to run. Oh well, he strangles her with the car antenna.

They decided that it would be best to recast Mother Superior with a much older actress. Probably because the original actress would have taken one look at the script and threw it back into their hands. It's also funny that her house number is 666 and that she doesn't have any wheel chair ramps in her home, yet magically is able to get up the stairs without a hitch.

The cops show up and find that Mother Superior's head is detachable and doesn't squirt blood. They see Ricky, shoot him up, and then he smiles at us with a drip of blood from his lip. THE END!

Like I said, Eric Freeman is what really makes this film highly entertaining. This is the best overacted performance that I've seen in a horror film since Matthew McConnaughey in THE TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE: THE NEXT GENERATION and the entire cast of TROLL 2.

It's too bad that SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 3: BETTER WATCH OUT sucked and that SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 4: INIATION was kinda forgettable. The only other installment of this franchise that I can honestly recommend if you want some fun and enjoyment is SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT 5: THE TOY MAKER, which is like a horror/comedy take on the Pinocchio story with killer toys!

Overall, SILENT NIGHT, DEADLY NIGHT PART 2 is a very hilarious B-Movie. It's so terrible from a filmmaking perspective, but so fucking entertaining from an audience perspective. Total recommendation just for a great laugh. Plus, you get two movies for the price of one!

RATING

2.5/4 STABS

Looks like Christmas came a little early this year. Have a Scary Christmas everyone and a Happy New Fear!   HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!

Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later (1998) / Halloween: Resurrection (2002)

2010-10-26T00:38:00.000-07:00

It's our favorite time of year again. Time for the things that go bump in the night and for a certain someone with a butcher knife to start slashing his way through more than just Jack o'Lanterns. Yes kids, Michael Myers is back, but not in Haddonfield. Nope. Nope. Nope. He's travelled all the way to California to terrorize a certain blood relative who was believed to be dead for the past twenty years. Oh Laurie dear, HAPPY HALLOWSCREAM!!!

PLOT

On Halloween night, 1978 in the small mid-western town of Haddonfield, Illinois, Michael Myers murdered a total of sixteen people. After that terrifying night, Michael Myers' only living relative, Laurie Strode, was killed in a car accident. Haddonfield has been peaceful and quiet for twenty years with no sign of Michael Myers. Now, in October of 1998, Michael Myers returns. He begins by breaking into Marion Chambers Whittington's (Dr. Loomis' nurse from the first two films) house to find out that Laurie Strode is really alive and had faked her death. Michael kills two high school guys who live next door as well as killing Marion. It turns out that Laurie Strode is now residing in Northern California with her teenage son John, has changed her name to Keri Tate, and is the head mistress at a private school. Laurie has been having nightmares of her brother returning to kill her and her son. John has been taking care of his mother and is sick of her overprotection and paranoia. So, John, his girlfriend Molly, and friends Charlie and Sarah decide to stick around on campus to have a private Halloween party since mostly everyone else has left on a camping trip . Meanwhile, Michael finds his way back to Laurie and kills anyone who gets in his way. This leaves John and his friends in grave danger and forces Laurie to face her fear head on by taking on Michael in a shocking finale that would have and should have been a great closing to the HALLOWEEN franchise.

REVIEW

John Carpenter changed the horror genre forever when he made HALLOWEEN in 1978. The film has gone on to become a horror classic that has been talked about for three decades. HALLOWEEN was followed by four sequels in the '80s. In the mid '90s, Miramax had bought the rights to the HALLOWEEN franchise under their Dimension wing. In 1995, Dimension and HALLOWEEN's executive producer Moustapha Akkad released the franchise's sixth installment titled HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS. The film disappointed fans and was a confusing mess thanks to serious re-editing to please some snobby fourteen year old kid who thought the producer's cut sucked. Also, the franchise's main star Donald Pleasence who played Dr. Sam Loomis had passed away shortly after completing additional dialogue for the film. Since Loomis was originally intended to return for a seventh film, the ending was redone to not feature Loomis, making the film even worse. The future of the franchise was at a standstill. Jamie Lee Curtis noticed that it was approaching the twentieth anniversary of the original HALLOWEEN and wanted to make a HALLOWEEN film that would reunite herself, director John Carpenter, and possibly P.J. Soles (Lynda). Both John Carpenter and P.J. Soles turned down the offer. However, executive producer Moustapha Akkad liked the idea of bringing Jamie Lee Curtis back as Laurie Strode for a twentieth anniversary film.

The horror genre was resurrected in 1996 with the clever slasher hit SCREAM, which was written by at the time an unknown writer named Kevin Williamson and directed by horror veteran Wes Craven. SCREAM made horror films hot again. We got slasher hits such as I KNOW WHAT YOU DID LAST SUMMER and URBAN LEGEND. Akkad decided that this new HALLOWEEN film should ride on the coattails of the new wave of teen horror hits that SCREAM started. Kevin Williamson was hired to oversee the script and to produce the new HALLOWEEN film. Williamson said in interviews that the original HALLOWEEN is what made him want to be a screenwriter and was his main influence while writing SCREAM. In fact, there's sequences in SCREAM where John Carpenter's HALLOWEEN is playing in the background on the television. Jamie Lee Curtis had seen HALLOWEEN 3-6 and hated them, so she wanted this new film to play out like a direct sequel to HALLOWEEN (1978) & HALLOWEEN II (1981). In the late summer of 1998, HALLOWEEN H20: TWENTY YEARS LATER was released to theaters. With a hot young cast, Laurie Strode, and a surprising shocker of an ending, HALLOWEEN H20 was a pretty decent hit and breathed fresh air into a dead franchise.

HALLOWEEN H20 was actually the first HALLOWEEN film that I was able to see in theaters and I had a blast. The audience I was with seemed to enjoy it too since they were all jumping, screaming, cheering, and laughing. Now I know there's a group of people out there that hated the mid-late '90s horror trend of self awareness, but most of it didn't bother me that much unless it was the extremely low budget straight to video films or some not so good sequels. I guess the reason they don't bother me is because I grew up with them. To be honest, I was exposed to these types of horror films before I really got into the older and more classic films. The first actual horror film that made me a fan was the original HALLOWEEN and then SCREAM came out and I got hooked. I didn't really have much knowledge of the genre back then like I do now.

I do however see the flaws in this film now that I didn't see back in 1998. Before I get into those, I would like to talk about what I enjoyed about HALLOWEEN H20. The screenplay written by Robert Zappia and Matt Greenberg is pretty good. I happen to love Kevin Williamson as a screenwriter and you can definitely tell that he had a lot to do with this film as well as with the screenplay. One thing that I've always enjoyed about Williamson's writing aside from cool stories is very well written characters. The man writes teen dialogue well in my opinion. He may throw in a lot of references to films that he loves, but what film geek doesn't? When I wrote HALLOWSCREAM, I named the two teens Fred and Jason and made them BEST FRIENDS as well as combining the titles of the first two horror films that made me a fan of the genre together! Kevin Williamson was another inspiration for me growing up. He's a great writer in my opinion and I want to be a great writer too. Anyways, this post isn't about me, it's about my opinion of HALLOWEEN H20.

The characters were great. I liked the direction they took Laurie where she is taking a lot of medication, is a bit of an alcoholic, paranoid as Hell, and vastly overprotective of her son John. John is tired of being hand cuffed to his mother and just wants to be a regular teenager and spend time with his girlfriend Molly and his two best friends. I also kinda liked Laurie's boyfriend Will, who's a guidance counselor at the private school. He just wants to spend time with her, but she won't let him get too close. The security guard Ronny was also pretty cool. And I liked the other teen characters. The characterization is the strongest part of HALLOWEEN H20 for me.

When the shit hits the fan and Michael begins terrorizing them, Laurie faces her demons and makes the choice to stop running from her Boogeyman and to fight him head on. I liked that she became a stronger character in this film.

I also really loved the opening with a small appearance by Marion Chambers from the first two HALLOWEEN films. The opening credits sequence was cool too except for that silly Donald Pleasence dubbed voice over.

The kills in this movie are pretty cool for the most part. My favorites are when Michael kills this teen who is a hockey player by shoving his ice skate blade right between his eyes and when one guy gets his throat cut with a corkscrew. We also get a really cool decapitation.

The music by John Ottman is okay. I heard that Ottman wasn't pleased with what they did to his music in the final film. I did love the "Mr. Sandman" song at the beginning, which was used at the end of HALLOWEEN II (1981).

The ending fucking rocked. It totally had people gasping in the theater including myself back in 1998. Akkad and Dimension had balls to do that, but then those balls turned blue, green, and dissolved into a raped pussy drizzling blood when HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION was made.

I do have a few issues with the film though. Well, most people don't like that this film was made in the tradition that SCREAM started, but that actually did not bother me. I didn't like the fact that HALLOWEEN H20 ignores HALLOWEEN 4-6 though. What's the point in watching those when this film just skips over them? The only bit from HALLOWEEN 4 actually mentioned is that Laurie was supposedly in a car accident and was dead. Here, it explains that she had faked her death and changed her name. Other than that though, no mention of Jamie Lloyd or anything related to HALLOWEEN 4-6. Now, I can hear some of you saying that FRIDAY THE 13TH: JASON LIVES ignored FRIDAY THE 13TH: A NEW BEGINNING. Well, that was for a very good reason, that film fucking sucked. It didn't skip over three films either, just one terrible film and treated it like a bad dream. Another issue I have is with the eight different Michael Myers masks. I didn't dig the look of the mask in this film. I also didn't like that this film takes place mostly in Northern California instead of Haddonfield, Illinois like all of the other HALLOWEEN films did (except for obviously SEASON OF THE WITCH). And there's a few bits that look kinda campy, especially when Michael stabs Sarah in the back with his butcher knife very slowly. Aside from those things though, I really liked the film.

The direction by Steve Miner, who also directed FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 & PART 3 was actually really good for the most part.

The acting was pretty solid in HALLOWEEN H20. Jamie Lee Curtis returned greatly back into the iconic heroine of Laurie Strode and made her a strong woman hellbent on killing her evil brother and protecting her son. Newcomer at the time Josh Hartnett was great in his first acting role as Laurie's son John (named after John Carpenter). I could tell back in '98 that this guy was going to be a star and I was right. Hartnett would later star in the teen sci fi/horror/thriller THE FACULTY that was written by Kevin Williamson. DAWSON'S CREEK star Michelle Williams was great as Molly, John's girlfriend. Adam Arkin was decent as Will. I really liked LL Cool J as the security guard Ronny. Jodi Lyn O'Keefe was great as Sarah. O' Keefe is probably best known for playing a stuck up and popular high school bitch in films such as SHE'S ALL THAT and WHATEVER IT TAKES. Adam Hann-Byrd was cool as Charlie. I also loved the return of Nancy Stephens as Marion Chambers from the first two HALLOWEEN films. There's a great cameo by Jamie Lee Curtis' mother Janet Leigh as a woman named Norma. I love that they gave her the name of Norman Bates' mother from Alfred Hitchcock's classic PSYCHO, which Janet Leigh played Marion Crane who gets stabbed to death in the infamous shower scene. Chris Durand was alright as Michael Myers. And last, but surely not least, we get a great cameo by a young Joseph Gordon Levitt at the beginning of the film. Levitt has gone on to play in such films as 10 THINGS I HATE ABOUT YOU and this past summer's block buster hit INCEPTION. Just to be a Batman fanboy here, I hope that Joseph Gordon Levitt gets a role in BATMAN 3. I will seriously go crazy in excitement if he gets casted as The Riddler. That would be so badass!

Overall, HALLOWEEN H20: TWENTY YEARS LATER is a pretty good sequel in the franchise. It's not as good as HALLOWEEN II (1981) or HALLOWEEN 4, but it's the last good film in the franchise until Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN (2007).

Don't you just love it? Twenty years and he still catches up to her! When they said that everything would come to a head in the end, they really meant it! HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!

RATING

2.5/4 STABS

     He was shot six times and fell off a balcony. He was burned to a crisp. He was shot into a mine shaft by a firing squad. He was beaten with a pipe. He was even decapitated. Then why the Hell is Michael Myers back this time? To get karate chopped by Busta Rhymes on MTV!

PLOT

   It's been three years since Michael Myers reunited with his baby sister Laurie Strode. That night, Laurie decapitated Michael. BUT, it turns out that she decapitated the wrong man. See, before the paramedics loaded Michael's "body" into the van, Michael attacked one of the paramedics, crushed his vocal cords, and decided to play dress up by switching costumes. And so Laurie unaware that it was really a paramedic, chopped the guy's head off. Now, Laurie is locked away in some mental asylum. Michael makes his way to the asylum, kills off two security guards and chases down his sister one last time to the roof where he finally kills her after all of these years.   Meanwhile, a group of annoying as fuck college kids are going on some hack job reality show ran by Busta Rhymes and Tyra Banks where they have to spend the night in the old Myers house, which happens to be planted with plastic skeletons to scare the shit out of them. Michael returns to his home only to find these jackasses in his house. He then proceeds to kill them off one by one. This leaves final girl Sarah and Busta Rhymes left. Busta goes up against Michael Myers with his karate chops as if he is on DEF JAM and results in the HALLOWEEN franchise being yet again, dead and buried but this time with the dog Jason's extra piss fire for flavor.

REVIEW

In 1998, the HALLOWEEN franchise was revived with HALLOWEEN H20: TWENTY YEARS LATER. The film did really well at the box office and was mostly approved by fans for the really awesome final ending that could and should have laid the HALLOWEEN franchise to rest with a satisfying conclusion. Well, when money flows, bullshit shows. In the summer of 2002, the eighth installment titled HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION was unleashed from horror cinema Hell into theaters everywhere and took possession of our money and our brain cells. This is definitely not the first time Moustapha Akkad has pussied out of a great ending. HALLOWEEN II (1981) ended with Michael Myers and Dr. Loomis burning to death. HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS ended with Michael's evil legacy being passed on to his niece Jamie Lloyd. And HALLOWEEN H20 ended with Laurie Strode chopping off Michael's head with an axe. This would have been a great place to end. The problem is that it never ends and judging by modern Hollywood, I don't think icons will ever truly end.   I remember being really pissed off back in 2002 when I saw the trailers for HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION. I mean, Michael was definitely dead. I fucking watched his head detach from his body and roll off god fucking dammit! He's dead! He's dead! To quote Malcolm McDowell from Rob Zombie's H2....

"Let me make things nice and sparkling clear! Michael Myers IS dead! D-E-A-D!!!

Yeah, sure, that film was a big disappointment, but that line certainly goes along with how I feel about the ending to HALLOWEEN H20 and this RESURRECTION bullshit.   With all of that said, how did I feel about HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION aside from it being TOTALLY unnecessary? Well, I fucking hated it. I do admit that the first like fifteen minutes aren't that bad except for a boring opening credits sequence, a bullshit reason for Michael being still alive, and him actually killing off Laurie. I liked the look of the asylum, the scene where Michael kills the two security guards, and the one mental patient who is obsessed with serial killer and is wearing a clown mask.

The direction by Rick Rosenthal who also directed the WAY better HALLOWEEN II (1981) did a decent job directing. The film looked good and was definitely running at a decent pace.

Where HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION really falls to pieces is with the story/script by Larry Brand and Sean Hood. The characters were also pretty fucking annoying and lame. I have to admit that there are a few parts that I liked though.

   I loved the design of the Myers house and the stuff revealing how fucked up Michael was. There's some coloring books with disturbing stuff drawn in them, a high chair with restraints, creepy dolls, and a room under the house where apparently Michael stays when he isn't killing anyone and eats rats. I also really dug the look of the mask for the most part.

    The whole reality show bit was lame though. I've seen movies where it worked a lot better such as WRONG TURN 2: DEAD END. It just didn't belong in a HALLOWEEN film.   The worst part for me though was the characters. I hated just about all of them. Sarah just didn't do anything for me as the final girl. I mean, sure, she was hot, but that didn't mean she was sympathetic. Freddie was the most annoying of any of them though. Probably because he was played by rapper Busta Rhymes. I just hated this character from beginning to end. All he did was try to act all gangsta and badass, but he just looked like a fucking idiot. Karate chopping Michael? FUCK THAT! What really makes me mad is that it looked like Michael was actually afraid of him. I demand a rematch. Busta Rhymes VS. Tyler Mane. Now, Mane would have mutilated this douchebag and hung him up as a Halloween decoration like he did to Annie's boyfriend Paul. Most of the annoying lines that came from this guy was stuff like...

" Trick or treat MUTHA FUCKA!"

" Lookin' crispy Mikey. Extra fried MUTHA FUCKA!"

" Hey Mikey, Happy Halloween! MUTHA FUCKA!"

Oh would you shut the fuck up! I think I would rather listen to Ronnie White talking shit to Michael's mother or that ambulance driver saying "fuck" about thirty more times. That would be more fun than watching Busta Rhymes trying to act.   The only characters that honestly didn't annoy me really was Rudy and Myles aka Dekkard. Sarah's friend Jen was annoying. Thomas Ian Nicholas' character was annoying. I don't recall all of these character names and quite frankly I don't care either.

The acting was pretty bad too. Some are decent actors with a terrible character/script to work with and others are just terrible actors period. I liked the short appearance of Jamie Lee Curtis as Laurie Strode at the beginning. Too bad her character died. Brad Loree was okay as Michael Myers. Bianca Kajlich was hot, but pretty uninteresting as Sarah. Sean Patrick Thomas was actually decent as Rudy. Daisy McCrackin was uninteresting as Donna. Katee Sackhoff was annoying as Jen. Luke Kirby was annoying as Jim. Thomas Ian Nicholas from the first three AMERICAN PIE films was annoying as Bill. Ryan Merriman was probably one of the better actors in this film as Myles/Dekkard. Merriman is a decent actor in my opinion and deserves far better work than this movie. I liked him much better in FINAL DESTINATION 3. Tyra Banks was horrible as Nora. All she did was talk gangsta and shake her booty. She should just stick to modeling. And Busta Rhymes, fuck you! That's all I have to say on the acting.

Another thing I don't like about this film is that all of the other characters that Michael should be after are all dead. Jamie Lloyd is dead. Laurie Strode is dead. Dr. Sam Loomis is dead. So in other words, this film should not exist. Michael isn't Jason or Leatherface or Freddy. He doesn't just kill anyone. Well, he does, but there is usually a purpose. Here, there is no purpose other than they are in his home and he apparently doesn't like it.

Overall, HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION is the worst of the franchise in my opinion. It is the reason we got a remake in the first place. It's a shame that this film had to be the last HALLOWEEN film that executive producer Moustapha Akkad made. He was killed in 2005 by a terrorist bombing while in Amman, Jordan. Without him, there probably would have never been a HALLOWEEN franchise.

I would like to take this time to remember some fine people who made the HALLOWEEN franchise what it is today and it truly is a shame that they are no longer around.

RIP

Debra Hill, Co-writer/Producer of HALLOWEEN '78

Joseph Wolf, executive producer of HALLOWEEN II & III and did advertizing for HALLOWEEN '78

Moustapha Akkad, executive producer of HALLOWEEN '78-HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION and also the investor on HALLOWEEN '78

It seems that every story must come to an end. But, not an icon of horror! Legends live on, which is why Michael Myers is reborn by rocker Rob Zombie in a more brutal and unique take on horror cinema's greatest Boogeyman! Until the next screaming, have a nice fright! HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!!

RATING

0.5/4 STABS

Halloween 5: The Revenge of Michael Myers (1989) / Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers (1995)

2010-10-20T23:51:00.001-07:00

It's Hallowscream again in Haddonfield. You know what that means? The Boogeyman is back to raise some more Hell! Too bad this Hallowscream, the pumpkin got smashed before it could even be carved.

PLOT

After being shot with about a hundred rounds of ammunition and falling into a mine shaft, Michael Myers slides down a water stream. He ends up collapsing at some old hermit's house out in the middle of bum fucked Egypt. The old hermit for some fucking reason lets Michael sleep at his place for an entire year. Halloween Eve comes around, which causes Michael to wake up from his year coma and put on a shitty looking blank white mask. He kills the old hermit guy and heads to, you guessed it, Haddonfield to finish stalking his niece Jamie Lloyd. Jamie is now in a clinic for mentally disabled children. She hasn't spoken a word since she stabbed her foster mother with a pair of scissors the Halloween before and is now sensing and seeing what Michael sees. Everything seems quiet and everyone involved with last year's Halloween encounter with Michael such as Rachel, Jamie, and Dr. Loomis are paranoid that Michael will return to finish what he started. Michael returns, kills off Rachel, and proceeds to stalk Rachel's annoying as fuck best friend Tina and her three high school dumbass friends. It is up to both Loomis, Sheriff Meeker, and Jamie to stop Michael for good. Meanwhile, a mysterious man has appeared in Haddonfield too that has the same mark on his wrist as Michael. Will Michael finally be stopped or will things take an unexpected turn for the worst for little Jamie Lloyd?

REVIEW

In 1988, executive producer Moustapha Akkad brought Michael Myers back to Haddonfield in the franchise's fourth entry, HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS. The film did so well at the box office and made the fans very happy to see Michael back as well as the awesome twist ending that gave everyone a nice surprise. Fans were curious where Akkad and company would take the fifth installment with a great twist ending like that. I'm sorry for spoiling the ending of HALLOWEEN 4 for any of you who haven't seen it, but since I'm reviewing the sequel to it then I can't skip over talking about what it was. HALLOWEEN 4 ended on a high note with Jamie Lloyd picking up a pair of scissors and stabbing her foster mother as she was about to give Jamie a bath. It ended with Jamie standing at the top of the stairs wearing her clown costume and holding up the bloody scissors as Loomis starts to scream, "NOOO!!!!!! NOOOO!!!!!! NOOOOO!!!!". It was implied that when Jamie touched Michael's hand near the end, that his evil was passed on to her and that she would pick up possibly where he began at six years old back in 1963. Unfortunately for us Halloween fans, none of that happened. Instead of working off that idea for the fifth film, Akkad rushed HALLOWEEN 5 into production before the screenplay was even completed. Exactly a year later in 1989, one year after the release of HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS, HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS was released to the theater. Most fans left the theaters unhappy and majorly disappointed back in 1989. HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS also didn't do that well at the box office.

I will say it now. I hate HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS. Now, I wouldn't say that it is the worst of the franchise, but in my opinion, it is the second worst. HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION takes first place as being the absolute worst with HALLOWEEN II (2009) in third place and HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS (theatrical cut) in fourth place. Let's start out talking about the script. Wait, there's a script for this? Yes, someone actually wrote this. Oh, not someone, three someones wrote this film. Michael Jacobs, Dominque Othenin- Girard, and Shem Bitterman wrote this thing called HALLOWEEN 5. I will give them some credit for not having Michael karate chopped by rapper Busta Rhymes, but that however does not excuse writing the most giggly annoying and fucking unbearable swat named Tina. Oh my God! I would rather watch Spongebob Squarepants run around in his whitey tighties laughing like he just inhaled Helium than to watch this bitch on screen for one second! While Tina is the worst part of the film for me, yes, there's other people and things that leave this toilet backed up and ready to overload into a fucking shit Fountain of Youth. There's some annoying stuttering kid named Billy, who is probably related to Jake from FRIDAY THE 13TH: A NEW BEGINNING. The only good part about him is when his stupidity gets him hit by a car. We get two goofy cops that do nothing except act like idiots and get killed by Michael. If I wanted to see goofy cops acting like idiots in a horror film then I would simply watch THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT '72 thank you very much!

We get introduced to Tina's boyfriend and two of their friends, who I could really care less about. All I can remember about them is that the one chick looked like Tara Reid dressed in a Devil costume. The only characters that are back from HALLOWEEN 4 are Rachel, Jamie, Dr. Loomis, Sheriff Meeker, and of course Michael. Another thing that I absolutely hated aside from shitty new characters is that Rachel gets killed off. A character that I and the other Halloween fans came to love in HALLOWEEN 4 gets killed in the first like 10-15 minutes. Wow, what a big fuck you! Oh well, the same thing happens with Jamie in the next installment and again with Laurie Strode in HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION. If you are going to kill off characters, kill the supporting characters or the super annoying ones. NOT THE HEROINE OR HERO! That would have been like if they killed off Tommy Jarvis in one of the FRIDAY THE 13TH sequels. That's just one thing I absolutely hate about many horror movie sequels is killing a character I have come to love and enjoy watching. The only time that it didn't bother me was in A NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET 3: DREAM WARRIORS because then we already had a new heroine (Kristen), but then she got killed off in the next film. Only do this if you have set up a good new hero/heroine for the villain to battle or it serves good purpose to the story.

Jamie is mute for a great portion of the film. I didn't really like that direction either even though I think I know the reason why. Michael went totally silent after killing Judith, so it is either to be similar to that case or that she was just in a bit of catatonic shock from what happened. The Michael Myers mask looked like shit. Definitely the worst mask in the franchise.

The whole bit at the beginning with Michael sliding down the stream made me laugh because it looked so ridiculous. I'm surprised since he fell into a mine shaft that he didn't try to find his buddies Harry Warden or Jason Voorhees for help. Dr. Loomis seemed a bit more crazy than usual in this film. Probably because Donald Pleasence realized how much the writers and director suck ass. I still find it funny that the old hermit dude at the beginning let Michael sleep in his house ALL YEAR LONG! How could he survive not eating or drinking anything for a full year? Oh yeah, I guess Human needs don't apply to Boogeymen. The whole man in black part and the flag sign on the wrists of both the mystery guy and Michael were weird. We do discover what all of that means in the next installment though.

The special -FX were alright by KNB. I heard the film got butchered by the MPAA and had to cut some stuff out.

The music by Alan Howarth was pretty blah. Definitely the worst by him. I don't blame Howarth though, I blame the shitty director.

The direction by Dominque Othenin- Girard was horrendous. That's what you get when you get the hack director from OMEN IV: THE AWAKENING to direct your movie. I saw some interviews with this guy on the HALLOWEEN 25 YEARS OF TERROR documentary and he is such a hack and doesn't know shit about what makes a good horror film. I also heard how he treated special-FX artist Greg Nicotero on the set of making this film. Nicotero suggested an idea for a specific FX and this hack job told him, "What do you know? You're just the make up-FX guy." You know what Dominque Othenin-Girard? FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! And...FUCK YOU! I haven't worked in the actual film business, but have made short films. But, if I had some ass clown like this on my set, his ass would be fired and thrown to burn in the pits of Hell.

The acting ranges. The actors returning such as Danielle Harris as Jamie Lloyd, Ellie Cornell in a small return as Rachel, Beau Starr as Sheriff Meeker, and Donald Pleasence as Dr. Sam Loomis were the best they could be considering they had a shitty script and director to work with. We wouldn't see Danielle Harris back in the Halloween franchise until 2007 with Rob Zombie's remake where Harris plays Annie Brackett. The new actors however were pretty terrible. Wendy Kaplan as Tina was annoying and too giggly. I'm not sure if it was the actress too or just the shitty director and script. I've never seen this actress act in anything else. All of the other actors were just forgettable and annoying as Hell. I thought Don Shanks was "okay" as Michael Myers, but his mask looked like shit. I also HATED the fact that Michael actually cries at a point in this film. I'll take him wearing a dusty Santa Claus beard and screaming "DIE!" to Loomis before I would have him crying like a baby.

Overall, HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS is a terrible movie. It may not be the absolute worst of this franchise, but like I mentioned before, it comes in second place in between HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION and HALLOWEEN II (2009).

Wow, am I happy that's over! Looks like Hell is about to take over Haddonfield and Michael's evil is finally unraveled in the next chapter, HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS.

RATING

0.5/4 STABS

Welcome back to Haddonfield. It seems that Michael is under the influence of Thorn and out to kill Jamie Lloyd's son and some Strodes who happen to be living in his home. Halloween is the curse of Michael Myers!

PLOT

Ever since the Halloween of 1989, both Jamie Lloyd and Michael Myers have disappeared. Now, in 1995, it is revealed that Jamie Lloyd has been held prisoner by a Satanic cult known as Thorn. She is now about fifteen years old and gives birth to a baby boy. One of the nurses unties Jamie, hands her the baby, and helps her escape Thorn's secret hide away. Michael tracks Jamie down and brutally kills her, but she has hidden her son away in a safe place. The next day, a now adult Tommy Doyle who has been studying Michael Myers for years, finds Jamie's son and contacts a retired Dr. Loomis. Tommy now lives across from the old Myers house, which is now fixed up and some relatives of Laurie Strode's foster parents are now living there consisting of Kara, her mother Debra, her abusive bastard of a father John, her brother Tim, and her eight year old son Danny. Thorn's leader has now chosen Danny to be the next unstoppable being in Thorn's legacy of evil since Michael is almost finished killing off the rest of his family to complete his destiny. Will Tommy and Loomis be able to protect the Strode family and Jamie's baby from Michael and Thorn?

REVIEW

   In 1988, HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS brought the horror fans what they wanted, Michael Myers.   The film did so well with fans and at the box office. A year later in 1989, Moustapha Akkad released the awful HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS that destroyed any great possibility that HALLOWEEN 4 could have lead to. After HALLOWEEN 5 failed at the box office and was poorly received by fans, Akkad and company struggled to figure out a way to apologize for their screw up back in '89. It was a really tough time developing a sixth installment to continue where HALLOWEEN 5 left off. Several different screenwriters were considered to write. Quentin Tarantino was actually in talks at one point and even wrote a first draft that was turned down.   It took about five years, but Akkad finally found a good screenplay written by a long time fan of the franchise named Daniel Farrands. Farrands explained who the man in black was from HALLOWEEN 5, what happened to Jamie Lloyd, and ultimately, what happened to Michael Myers that turned him evil and made him unstoppable. Nobody had dared to go into detail with what happened to him, so this was a bold move on Farrands' part.

    The screenplay by Daniel Farrands is actually pretty good if you watch the producer's cut of HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS.   Before I go any further, I must explain why there are two VERY different cuts of this movie. Back when HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS wrapped filming, it was written for actor Donald Pleasence (Dr. Sam Loomis) to be in the next installment. Right after completing additional dialogue for the film though, Donald Pleasence died. He was even sick in the making of this movie and you can tell by the way he looked and sounded that he was ill. Since he died right after completing the film, the filmmakers felt that it would be too wrong to have it set up for the next film the way the film had originally been cut. That is not a good excuse though. Hell, THE DARK KNIGHT set it up where Joker was originally planned to take part in BATMAN 3 and Chris Nolan didn't just change the film around just because Heath Ledger was no longer around. So, that right there was a wrong move. Then, the film was test screened for a bunch of fourteen year old boys, where some snobby fourteen year old boy told the filmmakers that the ending sucked. Wow, you are seriously going to take the kid's word for it and change up the ENTIRE fucking movie just to please one snobby movie goer? Fuck that! Let the little fucker complain! I make my films the way I vision them and would not let some kid tell me how to make my fucking movie. It's one thing to hate something, but at least back up your answer with a logical reasoning.    So, the filmmakers took the kid's complaint to heart and made a sloppy edited mess that they actually released to theaters.

When the internet age finally came around, bootleg copies of a producer's cut version of HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS were found on Ebay that people were buying left and right. This producer's cut was actually how the film was originally intended to be seen that was both dark, cool, and made sense. What was released to theaters in 1995 was a confusing mess of a movie and disappointed many Halloween fans.   Since I've seen both versions, I will discuss both of them.

Regardless of which version you watch, there is still two complaints I have for the film. The first was killing off Jamie Lloyd as well as recasting her. The way she went out in the theatrical version was so fucked up! Even though I hate that she was killed off, I have to say that the producer's cut way she dies was more satisfying.   The second is the whole Thorn bullshit. I didn't need a reason behind Michael's evil. Although, we are at the sixth film now so I guess no explanation by this point would make the films become boring.

I will begin with discussing the theatrical cut that anybody can see. This version leaves many many many questions left unanswered. Who is Jamie's baby's father? Why is Thorn holding Jamie prisoner? Whatever happened to Dr. Loomis at the end? The ending in this version sucks big time. Maybe this was the ending which that snobby kid was talking about because the producer's cut ending was fucking awesome and could have lead to an interesting story if Pleasence hadn't died after filming wrapped. Also, there's a lot of quick cuts, lightening flashes, scream echoes, and electric guitar music that feels totally trippy and out of place. Don't get me wrong, I like trippy sometimes, but when the film doesn't make sense in the end, I can't forgive the trippy look of the film. I did find the scene where Michael mutilates a lot of doctors really trippy and kinda intense in how it was structured. Some of the film felt very nightmarish, which I do admit to liking a bit. The problem was that the narrative was totally out of place. One of the kills looked really silly where a guy gets electrocuted to the point where his head actually explodes.

     The producer's cut however provides answers for our desired questions and makes the narrative make sense, while still being dark and creepy.   The film felt kinda like if you mixed ROSEMARY'S BABY and THE OMEN into a Halloween movie. We find out who Jamie's baby's father is. Can we say serious incest? We also have a way more satisfying conclusion to all of this madness.

The characters are actually pretty interesting. Kara Strode made for a pretty decent heroine in this film who just wants to protect her son. Kara comes from a pretty dysfunctional family. Her mother is sweet and caring, yet her father verbally and physically abuses her. What a fucking prick this man was! We also have her brother Tim and his girlfriend. Tommy Doyle (the little boy from the original HALLOWEEN '78) returns to stop Michael alongside Dr. Loomis and another doctor, Dr. Terrence Wynn. There's some radio talk show dick named Barry Simms. Jamie Lloyd is back for like twenty minutes, but gets killed. And there's also the old lady who Tommy lives with named Mrs. Blankenship.

The music by Alan Howarth and Paul Rabjohns was decent in the producer's cut, but pretty meh in the theatrical cut.

    The direction by Joe Chappelle is uneven in the theatrical cut, but not bad in the producer's cut. Chappelle was never interested in the Halloween films anyways, he just wanted to get a three picture deal with Dimension Films.

The acting was actually not bad. I liked Marianne Hagan as Kara Strode. She was cute, sympathetic, and was going through a hard time raising her son and dealing with her father. Paul Rudd (CLUELESS) was good as adult Tommy Doyle. Donald Pleasence was very good in his last portrayal of Dr. Sam Loomis and also his last movie period. Mitch Ryan was good as Dr. Terrence Wynn. I liked Kim Darby as Debra Strode. Bradford English was great at playing an abusive and evil bastard of a father as John Strode. I haven't hated a guy this much in the Halloween franchise except for Ronnie White in Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN '07. Keith Bogart was decent as Tim Strode and I liked Mariah O' Brien as his girlfriend Beth. Leo Geter was a great dick as radio talk show douche Barry Simms. Devin Gardner was really good as little Danny Strode. I loved Janice Knickerehm as Mrs. Blankenship. The best part is when she explains how Halloween came to be. George P. Wilbur who played Michael Myers in HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS returns and was great. I think he is the creepiest Michael since Nick Castle/Tony Moran and Dick Warlock. Plus, the mask looked creepy as Hell in this film! And then we have J.C. Brandy replacing Danielle Harris as teenage Jamie Lloyd. Originally, Akkad wanted Danielle Harris back, but Danielle couldn't agree on anything with the director and hated the script and the fact that they were killing off the character that made her career as well as a character that everyone loved. As for J.C. Brandy, she was just okay. It's just weird to watch her play the character and not Danielle Harris. That's okay, Danielle Harris will return to the Halloween legacy in Rob Zombie's HALLOWEEN '07 and will be in Adam Green's HATCHET II (which I'm fucking dying to see dude!).

Overall, HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS can either be a bland or good film depending on which version you watch. Honestly, I recommend checking out the producer's cut if you can find it. It was on Ebay, but now it is even harder to find. The only reason I was able to see it was because a friend of mine made me a copy and mailed it to me. I'm really hoping that Dimension Films smartens up and releases HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS on DVD/Bluray in the form of the producer's cut. Apparently they have been in talks about it, but that was five or six years ago! Release it already!

RIP Donald Pleasence! The Halloween franchise will never be the same without you running around with a gun like a crazy person and your awesome monologues about evil. In memory of the great Donald Pleasence, I will quote his most famous line of dialogue as Dr. Samuel Loomis in the original classic that made all of this possible.

" I met this six year old child with this pale, emotionless face, and the blackest eyes. The Devil's eyes. I spent six years trying to reach him and then another seven trying to keep him locked up because I knew that what was behind that boy's eyes was purely and simply, Evil."

The evil night of Halloween has come to a close, but will be reborn on the twentieth anniversary. Until the next screaming, have a nice fright!!!! HEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!

RATING

THEATRICAL- 1.5/4 STABS

PRODUCER'S CUT- 3/4 STABS

Shock Theatre: "HALLOWSCREAM"

2010-10-16T03:22:00.000-07:00

Fred and Jason are best friends, but totally opposite people. Fred always seems to find himself in trouble. Jason however doesn't approve of Fred's mischief. On Halloween night, the two teens decide to trick or treat at the crazy neighbor Psycho Mike's creepy house. Jason gets angry at Fred and leaves. Fred sees a house that appears to be empty with a bowl of Halloween candy on the front porch and nobody around. While stealing some of the candy, Fred notices that the front door is wide open and decides to just walk in and see what he can take. What Fred doesn't know is that the residents of the house are not Human, but monsterous homicidal clowns that eat trick or treaters that just so happen to come to their home on All Hallow's Eve. The season of fear is back this Hallowscream!

HALLOWSCREAM (2010)

Mike Huntley Myspace Video

Halloween III: Season of the Witch (1982) / Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988)

2010-10-14T01:03:00.000-07:00

Welcome back to Haddonfield. What's that? WHAT DO YOU MEAN THIS MOVIE DOESN'T TAKE PLACE IN HADDONFIELD? Where's that Michael Myers fellah? Ugh, looks like some serious black magic is at work here. It seems all of the trick or shriekers' heads are melting with dozens of creepy crawlies coming out from under their masks. This sounds like my kinda town! HEHEHEHAHAHAHA!

PLOT

In Northern California, a man named Harry Grimbridge is on the run from some wannabe Mr. Smith looking guys. A concerned gas station attendant gives Harry a lift to the local hospital. Harry begins rambling about "they're going to kill everyone" with a Halloween mask gripped tightly in his hands. That night, one of the Mr. Smith wannabe guys makes his way to the hospital and murders Harry before pouring gasoline on himself inside his car and blowing himself up. The hospital's main doctor, Dr. Daniel Challis, witnessed what had happened. Challis notices that something strange is going on and teams up with Harry's daughter Ellie to investigate the mystery behind her father's murder. They end up in a weird little town called Santa Mira that is home to the Silver Shamrock Novelty company. Dan and Ellie soon discover that Silver Shamrock owner Conal Cochran plans to use his company's Halloween masks to kill all of the children in America on Halloween night. Will Cochran be stopped or is it too late? Halloween night, the night nobody came home!

REVIEW

In 1978, John Carpenter made the ultimate horror film classic titled HALLOWEEN. Halloween was so successful and set the bar for the slasher genre. In 1981, HALLOWEEN II was released that continued that terrifying night, but did it in a more slasher fashion of gory kills and revealing the siblingship between the film's arch villain Michael Myers and heroine Laurie Strode. Fans around the world were curious if there would be more Halloween films and where the story would continue since it looked like Michael Myers and Dr. Sam Loomis both burned to death at the end of Halloween II. After the success of Halloween II, it was decided to go ahead and make a third installment. This time however, Moustapha Akkad and John Carpenter decided to do something completely different with the franchise. They had ended the whole Michael Myers/Laurie Strode/Sam Loomis story perfectly at the end of Halloween II, so they decided to make the other films all different types of stories that took place on Halloween. Carpenter and Akkad wanted to treat the Halloween franchise like a TALES FROM THE CRYPT or TWILIGHT ZONE thing, which sounded great. So, in 1982, HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH was released to theaters. And you want to know what? Audiences HATED it! It did awful business at the box office and made horror fans furious. Why? Because Michael Myers was not in it. People wanted Michael Myers. Where's the Boogeyman who stalks and kills babysitters on Halloween night?

To be perfectly honest, I don't hate Halloween III: Season of the Witch at all. Also, I find the hate for it to be amusing. I can definitely understand the love people have for The Shape, but I didn't think that this film was as bad as many people claim it to be. Is it good? Not really. Is it bad? No. Halloween III: Season of the Witch is one of those films that is middle ground for me. It's neither good or bad and has its fair share of both. Tommy Lee Wallace wrote a pretty average screenplay that had some major plot holes that really dragged the film down for me. Many people act like this is the worst of the franchise when it really isn't. The Halloween franchise definitely has more bad installments than good though. Hell, all of the really bad installments actually HAD Michael Myers in them and even he couldn't stop those films from being terrible. HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS, HALLOWEEN: THE CURSE OF MICHAEL MYERS ( theatrical cut), HALLOWEEN: RESURRECTION, and Rob Zombie's H2: HALLOWEEN II (2009) were far worse than this Michael Myers-less third installment.

I'll begin with the good points of Halloween III: Season of the Witch. I was truly digging the whole mask killing every child in America concept. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that I enjoy watching innocent children's heads turn into snakes and all kinds of nasty critters. I just find this concept to be very dark and controversial and I tend to love controversial material because of its shock value. The characters of Dr. Dan Challis and Ellie Grimbridge were interesting to me. Dan is a ladies man, which I'm assuming is why his wife divorced his ass. The guy may be a flirt, but there was something that I liked about him. Maybe it's because he was played by Tom Atkins, who is a total badass! Ellie was pretty cute. She had the interest of both my eyes and my penis. I also kinda liked the film's villain Conal Cochran. He was like if Willy Wonka was a novelty shop owner who went mad and wanted to kill off all of America's children on Halloween. Although, if I wanted an Irish man who wants to give people a deadly case of bad luck, then I will stick with LEPRECHAUN thank you very much!

The music composed by both John Carpenter and Alan Howarth was pretty good. I liked it a lot.

I really dug the special FX in this film too. That scene where the robot guy just pulls off that homeless guy's head was fucking sweet. Little Buddy Kupfer Jr.'s death was fucking awesome as well. That kid was such a brat. He reminded me of that kid from Willy Wonka And The Chocolate Factory who always sat in front of the television and was an ass. I loved it when critters just crawled out from his mask after his face melted. Gee, I wonder where Wallace got his inspiration from when he wrote this film.

And then there is everything else. I believe the biggest problem of all I have with this movie is the lack of reason why Mr. Cochran wants every child in America dead on Halloween. There's no motivation with this guy what so ever. Now normally I prefer not to know why someone likes to kill people. It would ruin a character like Michael Myers, Chucky, and Freddy to know why they want to kill people aside from the simple answer that they are all evil and enjoy taking lives. Here is an example of where motivation is needed. I don't know, maybe Slugworth paid this guy to kill off all of the children so that Willy Wonka would run out of business. Now, that is a harsh revenge my fiends! Also, what the fuck is up with all of the robots? I guess Cochran is not only a mask maker, but a robotics expert too. He is probably using robots to do his handy work instead of people because robots can't be killed and are a hell of a lot stronger. I just find it funny that these robot men look like Mr. Smith a little bit from The Matrix. And they bleed yellow goo. I'm confused about the purpose of that stone Irish wall. The last time I saw something like that was in TROLL 2. Also, how the fuck do those little chips make a kid's head melt and creepy crawlers slither out? There's a part near the end that kinda confused me too, but I think I have finally figured out what happened to Ellie. I heard that the actual ending was a homage to Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Actually in fact, a lot of this film gives homage to that old school alien movie. Speaking of homages, I did enjoy the small homages to the original Halloween on the television in two sequences.

For a movie with "SEASON OF THE WITCH" in the title, there were no witches in the film. When I think of the word witch, I'm thinking wicked witch of the west or the Hocus Pocus sisters or that lady who liked to turn children into Gingerbread and eat them from Hansel & Gretel. Not some old Irish dude who likes to melt children's faces with his Halloween masks!

As for that Silver Shamrock theme song, I have to admit that it is pretty catchy. Annoying as hell after playing a zillion times in this film, but catchy nonetheless. If Jigsaw really wanted to do some serious damage in the next Saw film, he should lock one of the victims in a room with this song playing over and over again with no way to shut it off. I wonder if they would be driven mad or find a way to kill themselves to stop the song.

The direction by Tommy Lee Wallace was okay. Could have been better, but could have been worse. Wallace was the production designer on the original Halloween. Not a bad directorial.

I thought the cinematography again by Dean Cundey was very good.

The acting was okay. I actually liked Tom Atkins a lot as Dan Challis. Sure, it's not Atkins' best acting job, but it's a decent one though. I prefer him in John Carpenter's THE FOG, NIGHT OF THE CREEPS, and MY BLOODY VALENTINE 3D. Stacey Nelkin was cute and decent as Ellie. Dan O' Herlihy was pretty good as the villain Conal Cochran. What a bastard this guy was! Too bad I still don't get his beef with kids. Everybody else was alright. There was also a cameo by Nancy Keyes (Annie Brackett from Halloween '78) as Dan's wife.

Overall, Halloween III: Season of the Witch is an alright movie to watch every October. It's considered the black sheep of the Halloween franchise, but it ain't bad. Definitely worth checking out if you can look past the fact that Michael Myers isn't in it.

16 more days till Halloween. Halloween. Halloween . 16 more days till Halloween. Silver Shamrock!

RATING

2/4 STABS

The Boogeyman is BACK! After a ten year sleep, Michael returns to Haddonfield to find his niece, little Jamie Lloyd. Nothing says family reunion like a body count on Halloween!

PLOT

    It has been ten years since Michael Myers killed about sixteen people in Haddonfield on Halloween. Michael has been in a coma at another psychiatric hospital for the past decade. Some paramedics load him in an ambulance ready to transfer him to another hospital, but Michael hears something about a niece and jumps up and brutally kills everybody in the ambulance. Meanwhile, young Jamie Lloyd is staying with her foster parents and new sister Rachel after her mother (Laurie Strode from Halloween & Halloween II) was killed in a car accident. After hearing about Michael's escape, Dr. Loomis goes on yet another quest to find him and kill him once and for all. Loomis teams up with Haddonfield's new sheriff Ben Meeker to find Myers. Michael finds his way to Jamie and Rachel that leads to a shocking ending that most won't see coming.

REVIEW

   In 1978, John Carpenter's low budget independent horror film HALLOWEEN was a surprising smash hit. It not only helped change the genre, but it showed audiences the shape of what fear really is.   By the '80s, just about every major profitable horror film released was followed by a series of sequels to continue the story and try to out beat the previous box office grossing. In 1981, HALLOWEEN II was unleashed to pick up from the shocking ending of the original classic and continue with Michael Myers following Laurie Strode to the hospital and killing everybody who got in his way of killing his only living relative.   HALLOWEEN II made decent business, which granted a third installment. So, in 1982, HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH was released that walked away from the story of the first two installments to be the beginning of a set of Halloween anthology films. Unfortunately for producers John Carpenter, Debra Hill, and Moustapha Akkad, HALLOWEEN III: SEASON OF THE WITCH did poorly at the box office.   Horror fans wanted Michael Myers back doing what he does best, killing teenagers on Halloween night. After the failure of HALLOWEEN III, John Carpenter and Debra Hill wanted no part in the rest of the Halloween franchise and left ownership and rights to Moustapha Akkad.   After a five year wait, Akkad decided to give the horror fans what they wanted and returned Michael Myers and his arch nemesis Dr. Sam Loomis back to Haddonfield in the franchise's fourth entry titled HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS in 1988, the tenth anniversary of the original HALLOWEEN.

HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS is a really fun and entertaining sequel. The screenplay written by Alan B. McElroy was pretty good. I think the thing that works so well about this fourth entry of the franchise is definitely the characters of Rachel and Jamie Lloyd.   These two are likeable and are believable as sisters even though we know they aren't biologically.   This film also threw in some teenage drama in the mix with a love triangle between Rachel and her boyfriend Brady and another girl that seems to have a thing for Brady named Kelly.    It doesn't push the Rachel/Brady relationship. It's obvious that Rachel and Brady really are into each other, yet the sheriff's daughter Kelly comes between them. Dr. Loomis is a little more crazed in his obsession with killing Michael than he was in the first two films. The only person that seems to understand Loomis is some alcoholic priest trucker guy, who also is on a "quest" to defeat evil.   The story is told that Laurie Strode from the first two films was killed in a car accident and her daughter Jamie was the only survivor. Michael finds out that Jamie is his niece and goes after her to complete his quest to kill the last of his family. The new sheriff named Ben Meeker is cool too. I liked Sheriff Brackett more, but this guy ain't bad.   I really felt bad for little Jamie. She's constantly teased at school because of her uncle and her mom dying and all she wants is for Rachel to be a real sister to her. She also keeps having nightmares of her evil uncle trying to kill her.

       There's also some redneck dudes with shotguns who are run by this bar owner named Earl who wants revenge for Michael killing his son back ten years ago.

      I also love the little homages to the first movie like naming the new victim Jamie after Jamie Lee Curtis who played Laurie Strode in the first two films and having Jamie Lloyd as Laurie's daughter. The whole thing with Jamie dressing up as a clown for Halloween is obviously a mirror of young Michael. There's even a sequence where she sees young Michael dressed as a clown and holding a bloody knife in the mirror at the costume store. And then the sheriff's daughter gets killed by Michael just like what happened to the other sheriff in the original.

The music by Alan Howarth was decent. Still, nothing can beat the awesomeness of Carpenter's original Halloween score.

I was definitely digging the kills in this one. It seems that Michael is now even more stronger after being in a coma for ten years. He can now stick his thumb into some dude's forehead, rip a guy's throat out with his bare hand, and shove a shotgun through a girl's body that pins her up on the door.

The ending to this film is just awesome! Total open ending that could and should have lead to some interesting places in the following entries of this franchise. Too bad that Akkad and company chickened out and made that terrible HALLOWEEN 5: THE REVENGE OF MICHAEL MYERS a year later that ruined the possibilities that this great ending could have led to.

My biggest complaint about this film mainly was the mask. It just looked really silly compared to the original mask. I also wish that Laurie wasn't killed off. Although, we find out in the seventh installment HALLOWEEN H20 that she didn't die, but faked her death and changed her identity.

The direction by Dwight H. Little is pretty good. The film moves at a good pace and looks great.

The acting was pretty good too. Donald Pleasence is good as always as Dr. Sam Loomis. Ellie Cornell was great as Rachel. Danielle Harris was also fantastic as Jamie Lloyd. I've always enjoyed Danielle as an actress. I loved her here, as Annie Brackett in the HALLOWEEN remake, and also as the sexy Goth chick Tosha in URBAN LEGEND. I can't wait to see Danielle Harris as Marybeth in Adam Green's long awaited sequel HATCHET II! Beau Starr was good as Sheriff Meeker. Kathleen Kinmont was good and deliciously sexy as Kelly. And Sasha Jensen was good as Brady. All in all, great cast.

Overall, HALLOWEEN 4: THE RETURN OF MICHAEL MYERS is a very good sequel. Sadly, it is the last good film in the franchise until HALLOWEEN H20 in 1998. Definitely worth checking out every October.

Woah buddy, was that Homecoming or what! Michael usually makes Halloween fun when he's not handled by hacker jacks! Until the next screaming, have a nice fright! HEHEHEHEHEHAHAHAHA!!!

RATING

3/4 STABS